Please Be Seated

A “seated” wedding reception means that there is full seating or, put another way, a seat for every guest. We recommend that there be full seating for guests whenever possible. Even if your reception is a cocktail party or just cake and punch, providing insufficient seating puts the burden on the guest to find a place to sit or set down a plate or purse. Who hasn’t attended a wedding where you couldn’t find a seat and left early because of this?

The type of seating offered—full or partial-- is an important distinction when asking a venue about the number of guests it is able to accommodate. The question to always ask: “is that for full seating?” You’ll often find that the capacity quoted by a venue is not for full seating and you will be very disappointed if you were planning on providing a seat for every guest!


A decision to have full seating does not necessarily determine how food will be served. Meal service may be either a served, plated dinner, or buffet/stations.


Seating may be assigned or open. Sometimes it is best to have a combination of the two with reserved tables for the wedding party and immediate family, and open seating for all other guests.


If there is assigned seating for all guests, it is communicated in one of several ways:


Escort cards – these are cards that include the guest’s name and table number. There are many creative ways to provide this information and samples are found in just about every bridal magazine.  The cards are always arranged alphabetically by last name. If the escort card is also a favor consider giving on to every guest. If it’s just a little card, you can include married couples on a single card (for example, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith). Plus-ones should have their own card if you know the name. Unnamed plus-ones may be listed with the named guest bringing them (ie. Mr. John Smith and guest).

Seating Chart – this is a chart listing the guest names alphabetically and indicating the assigned table number. The seating chart can also include a layout of the room with numbered circles representing tables to assist in finding the right table. The seating chart is used instead of an escort card.

Place cards – these are cards put at the actual place setting to indicate exactly where at the assigned table the guest is to sit. It is usually sufficient to only assign a table and let the guests chose their own seat at the assigned table. But if you need to be very specific about who sits next to whom, place cards are the proper choice. The place card is used in conjunction with either the seating chart or the escort card.


Whew! Deciding where to seat guests can be a lot of work and you may decide to just offer open seating. If so, please keep these few tips in mind:


Always provide reserved seating for the wedding party and the immediate family. These folks are usually busy with photos right after the ceremony and remain busy greeting guests at the reception. By the time they are ready to sit-down, there may be no seating available! It’s a simple task to reserve several tables for family and the wedding party.


With open seating, you are letting all of your guests chose where to sit and with whom. Relatives, neighbors, school friends, etc. like to sit with each other and don’t always neatly add up to a table for eight or a table for ten. The result is that some tables may end up having chairs and place settings added and other tables may have open seats. It’s important to provide enough tables and chairs to accommodate what may be an irregular seating pattern. We always plan for at least one more table than we think we will need when there is open seating.

Finally, please be sure and watch the premiere episode of "Girl Meets Gown" on WEtv Sunday, April 25, 9 PM CST.  Check it out on http://www.wetv.com/girl-meets-gown

Please Manage Your Lovely Children

Having children in the wedding is a preference issue. There are no right or wrong answers, as well as no hard and fast rules. There are some considerations however, that the planning bride may want to consider.

1. Children under four are unpredictable. If a flower girl or ring bearer is young, he or she may not follow through with walking down the aisle, even if rehearsed perfectly the evening before. So brides-- always be prepared to implement a contingency plan.

2. For the ring bearer, regardless of the age, the rings on the pillow should be “pretend”. The real rings are usually given to the honor attendants or to the clergy. Two disasters can occur if the real rings are attached to the ring pillow. First, the knots must be secure in order to avoid becoming untied, this usually means the best man cannot get the knots untied during the ceremony. Second, the rings are not tied securely and they fall off the pillow.

3. Children like to run and play which usually leads to getting tussled or dirty. The stress parents place on children to “act nice’ and “not get dirty” is sometimes not a pretty sight. Weddings are often formal and are considered worship services so keep this in mind when selecting children. If a child usually follows instructions, he or she will probably be great. Conversely, children who usually misbehave do not suddenly become well-mannered after being invited to participate in a wedding ceremony.

4. Guests who bring infants or small children are usually considerate and leave the ceremony if crying begins. However, there are those who believe that sound of a crying child is perfectly acceptable. As a matter of fact, you the bride may share this view. If you do not want to hear children speaking loudly or crying, you may want to alert your greeters or house staff to direct parents to a nursery if necessary. If you know in advance that many of your guests have children, it may be a good idea to hire a sitter for the hour during the ceremony. While some children can sit quietly for an hour, most cannot.

5. It’s a good idea to have the parents sit in the first row of the temple or sanctuary, in order that children participating in the ceremony may sit during the wedding service, after the processional. If possible the children can always walk out during the recessional or be escorted out after the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom at the end of the ceremony.

6. Bringing children to the reception is a touchy subject. The bride needs to think of what kind of event she has in mind. Children can change the tone of the reception. This can be good or not so good, depending on personal preference. Some brides love the inclusiveness of all generations, others believe that receptions, like dance clubs, are no place for children. And a note for brides, if children are on the dance floor hopping around, adults will usually not dance. Someone will have the dreadful task of asking parents to keep the children off the dance floor.

7. Also during receptions, children are sometimes left to run wild. This can be dangerous not only for the child but also for wait staff and other vendors trying to provide services. So, if children are to be invited, consider engaging a sitter to keep them occupied. They can watch videos, play games or nap, while the parents can have a great night out with good music, great food and no need to worry about the children.

Lastly, some brides want lots of children participating in the wedding ceremony. For those weddings, consider having the children enter two-by-two holding hands. I have seen children come down the aisle being pulled in a wagon, still others have marched down in perfect unison while carrying candle lighters or ringing bells. This April, I know a mother of a bride who will be escorted by her 6 year old grandson. These and other ideas help to create an intergenerational ceremony and children almost always are adorable. Be creative, yet as mentioned earlier be FLEXIBLE because children will always be children.